Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Saving the best


HP, Quinners, and my niece- Cadie- and myself in December

Who do you save your best for? Is it for company? The daycare moms that come to pick up at the end of the day?

Is it for your OWN children?

I am questioning this a bit as of late. I know that my children mean the world to me. I know that I am blessed beyond measure of even having the possibility of being their mom. I know that they are precious, strong and resilient.

But do I save the best of ME for them? Or do they get stuck with leftovers?

For me, it is easier to have the mean voice with my own children than with the daycare kiddies. I know that I have the opportunity to be better - to make better choices, to speak softer, to love louder and hug harder. Do I take the opportunities given to me though?

We have "huggies and kissies" every night when HP and Quinners and myself talk about our day. We talk about the good and the bad. Our favorites. Usually their faves are when someone shared a toy at preschool or if HP gets a turn on the whirley-twirley at school. My faves are when the laundry makes it into the bin or someone brought their dish into the kitchen.

If I look at my life, in faves, my faves should ALWAYS be being their mom. Not that they went to bed so I can have some quiet time. Not that they ate their lunch so I don't have to waste food and throw it away. Not that they came when they were called - but instead played until they did not want to anymore and then came in to see me.

I need to love well. I am in love with my kids - but am working on saving the best love for them.

After all - they save their best love for me. Every day.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

On love and reruns on tv


Do you think marriage changes a person, or do you think that a person changes marriage?

That is a tough one. All I know is that since meeting and marrying Roger (the latter is only 2 months old, so I speak from all of my 5 week experience) - my "person" has changed.

Marriage is a promise that you make to each other every day. With Roger, this is what I promise:

1) I promise to listen to you talk about GI Joes - but don't ask me a question in a quiz - I am not listening THAT close.

2) I promise to agree that EVERY colour/shade/spectrum of the rainbow has green shades in it. Even when it does not. But you see it that way, and refuse to realize that white is not green. Nor is black. Green is green.

3) I promise to pick up your towel - if you pick up mine. Usually it is mine on the floor as you are too damn neat for your own good.

4) I promise to not tell anyone about the less than flattering photos of yourself if you promise not to share with the facebook world any of me in less than perfect posture.

5) I promise to be the driver, if you let me pick my music once in a while.

6) I promise to let you be the head of the family - as long as you know that I am the neck. As everyone knows - the neck supports the head and allows it to turn when it wants!

7) I promise to scan the isles of Toys R Us when you want.

8) I promise to always love you, listen to you, and hold your hand.

Roger really is the best. He allows me to be me. He lets me win arguments. He bought us a house and allowed me free reign of decorating it. He knows that I love hanging out with the girls, going to the gym, seeing my friends and having baths. He lets me do it all without complaining, or interrupting. I really do love him. He is one of the few individuals in my "now" friend life that has seen photo evidence of me at over 185 pounds. He thinks I still looked great. (We got him some glasses after that!).

Marriage the second time around is different. You know what you are getting into. I know that I fell in mad love with a frog. Who is a prince. But, man, can he be a frog when he wants to. He also knows that I am a beeotch when the moon is at a certain height, and he stays clear. In fact, he takes the girls and the dog away from the house to protect them too. But, we do the dishes together every night. We watch bad tv. We talk, we read, we sing in the van - usually to kid songs, but I digress. We are comfortable with each other, but not ever complacent. I know when he needs to be alone, and I also know when he has been alone ENOUGH and come and get him to join us.

For those of you that saw the frog and the princess get married on December 6th know that there does not need to be an answer to the question. Love is really all the answer you need.